Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
