Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
