You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
