sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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