She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
