My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize