when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
