You're so nebulous sometimes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
