Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize