They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
