This girl is more easily done than said...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
