he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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