I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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