Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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