Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
