Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
