i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
