I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize