Me. At least after what I've been through.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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