I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
