You're so nebulous sometimes
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
