Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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