No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
