but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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