Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
