Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
