Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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