This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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