i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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