he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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