Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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