piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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