and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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