Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
