you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
