We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
