I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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