if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
