I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
