and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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