Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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