apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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