I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
