I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Reggie can tackle my bush.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
