oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
