haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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