i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize