i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize