new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
