My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
