I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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