Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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