Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
