She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
