Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
