You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
