It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
