So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
