I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
