Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
