The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
